I had a better June. It started off a bit slow, but once I really got going with trying to reconnect with all of the things I love, it went by much quicker. It’s bittersweet when the summer months move too quickly. I always feel like there is so much I want to do in the summer and not enough time to do everything.
I actively tried to remember to connect more in June and I think it made a difference. I did things even when I didn’t feel like it, and I felt so much better afterwards.
I’ve been thinking about our future (hopefully) family and how badly I want to be a mom lately. It’s been getting me down because we had planned to start fostering this summer and ultimately decided not to. We’ve talked about private adoption and while I think we will still pursue this at some point, it just doesn’t seem like the time. We had decided I would quit my job in April so we could foster. We started buying baby items, set up a crib, everything. But when it really came down to it, again, it just didn’t seem like the right thing or time. I hope to be a mom someday and it’s hard because I don’t want to sit around and expect God to do all the work, but every time we have decided on one way to pursue it, it either doesn’t work out, or it doesn’t feel right. In June I watched a video by Ashley and Mike Lemieux about why they don’t have children right not. They explained they have not felt prompted to do so and have not felt like it was the right time. I honestly feel like watching it was an answer to prayer. I have desperately WANTED to be a mother. I went off of birth control over FOUR years ago without getting pregnant. I’ve felt like I need to do more to make it happen, but I believe it’s pressure I’m putting on myself and from the culture I live in. During the last few weeks of June, I was finally able to exhale and realize now may not be the time to be a mom. But the Lord will “simply provide the way” and I believe I will know what to do and when to do it to help do my part to make it happen. I understand this could be a month down the road, 3 years, longer? But it does me no good to let it beat me up.
All of that being said (I didn’t even realize that was where I was going. haha), I’m feeling a lot better coming into July. I’m ready to live with joy and peace.
So, here’s where I’m at with my 2018 goals. Still far from perfect, but I’m ready to take control of them again!
KNOWLEDGE:
· Read 52(ish) books.
I read a whopping two books this month.
-Girl Wash Your Face: Rachel Hollis (which by the way, I’m re-reading)
-Lilac Girls: Martha Hall Kelly
· Learn/Try something new
I really haven’t been good with this since April. I loved the idea of this goal and want to get better at actively trying/learning something. This month I’m hoping to attempt to bake macaroons. I tried once before and failed miserably, so wish me luck!
SPIRITUAL:
· Attend the temple monthly
After not going for several months, I finally went in July. And it felt so good! I was right in and out and I was bummed I didn’t have more time to sit and think in the quiet. I already have a date picked out in July to go back!
· Read the Doctrine and Covenants
I jumped back on this goal in June! I haven’t been consistent about reading every day, but I do at least one section 4 times per week, so for now, I’m calling that a win.
PHYSICAL:
· Run 400-500 miles
June went really well for running! I managed 81 miles in the month of June and have 231 for the year.
· Trilogize with Runtastic
My first race for the year is at the end of July. I’m getting excited!
· Go to the dentist
I’m going to hold myself accountable and make an appointment before the end of August.
FUN:
· Create a bucket list with Mike and cross off at least one item
I’m getting a little worried we won’t be able to cross off an item this year. We made some pretty big bucket list aspirations and the year is winding down!
· Travel to 3 places we’ve never been to together
We go to South Dakota in a few short weeks! We are so excited! But I still need an idea for our 3rd place. Ideally it will be a cheap, weekend getaway. Ideas?
· Catch up on scrapbooking
I didn’t do anything in June, but plan to work on some this month. Ideally, I would like to finish 2017 this month.
FINANCIAL:
· Create 72 hour kits
I found one I want to buy for each of us on Amazon. Now I just need to do it. These financial goals are just boring. Haha
· Save 10% of income
Working on it!
All in all, I guess things are going alright. I definitely have some work to do, but I’m finding ways to accomplish my goals and that’s all that matters.
Let me know if you want to try/learn anything new with me in July!
