I wanted my theme for the year to be: be present. And I felt like January went really well. I crossed all of my short term goals off and felt great about how I started the year.
Then came the disappointment and hopelessness. Guys, adoption is hard. The almosts, scams, quiet weeks, friends who are placed, all of it, is so hard. The last few months I go to bed saying I’m done with it all and then wake up and try again. It’s been sad to see who isn’t supporting us like I thought they would, but amazing to see who is supportive. It’s all a worldwind of emotions and even my good days feel hard.
March was especially hard. In relation to my goals, I kept up with the habits I’m trying to create, but also realized I don’t really care about a lot of the other goals I set. By the end of the month, I realized I need to work on developing hope. So for now, that’s going to be my new focus. Have hope. Hope for better days. Hope for the strength to keep going. Hope for my dreams to come true. Hope for the courage to keep going even if they don’t. Hope for miracles.
My sister created an Easter study guide: www.khemiapopa.eu which I’m so excited to use this month to remember the miracles Christ performed while on earth and the miracles He performs in my own life today.
While I’m still hoping to build up my habits as some of the goals I set for the year, I want to open my eyes to my daily blessings and miracles. I want to build up hope.
I guess in a way I am staying present. I’ve recognized where to shift my focus and I’m doing my best to shift in a positive way. This month may be about hope, and maybe next month too. It’s okay to shift your goals. It’s okay to shift a theme. You know where you’re at and where you want to be. That’s enough.
